She had been too petrified to delete it earlier. She was afraid that she might twitch or hold her finger down too long and trigger an outgoing call. Now, that call was inevitable. It just took a while to drum up the courage to place it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Douglas."
"Terri! I wasn't sure that I was going to hear from you."
"Well, I guess you don't have to wonder about that anymore."
"Are you at work?"
"Where I am isn't important, Douglas..."
"Because, maybe we could meet up for a drink later. Whatever you want."
"I just want to ask you a question, Douglas."
"Okay?"
"I'm not quite sure that I know how to put it."
"Well, if you don't ask me, then I probably can't help you."
Terri couldn't hold back the impulse any longer. "Did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Don't get cute, Douglas. You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I'm afraid that I don't have any idea."
Terri realized now that the call had been a mistake. Douglas was too crafty to admit any wrongdoing over the phone.
"Okay, Douglas. Thank you."
"How's Mr. Mela doing these days?" he pressed.
"I don't know," Terri responded warily. "What about him?"
"You're still seeing each other, right?"
"I'm not involved with anyone, Douglas."
"Oh, there you go!" he responded with false indignation. "You just had to insult my intelligence, didn't you?"
"That isn't funny, Douglas!"
"No! No, Peaches, it's not funny! Just like it wasn't funny a few seconds ago when you tried to get me to admit something that I didn't do."
"What didn't you do, Douglas?"
"Surely, you don't think I'm that stupid."
"No," Terri continued. "You're not stupid. You're arrogant. You're probably wishing that you could brag to me about how clever you are, except you'd have to admit what you did in the process."
"I haven't done anything clever, Terri." He was careful and calculating. He was once one of the hungriest sharks in the biggest shark tank in the world. He wasn't about to tip his hand in casual conversation. But Terri wouldn't let that keep her from trying.
"No, Douglas, you DID this. It has YOU written all over it. You're trying to show me that you still have the power to manipulate people. Just like you used to manipulate me."
"Ah, that's a nice conspiracy theory you have there!" he remarked. "But here's a little news flash. I'm an ex-convict now. I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. I don't have power over anyone anymore."
"Bullshit! I know you, Doug. I know what you're capable of. You break people down, slowly and mercilessly. You force them to deal with one problem after another until it's not worth fighting anymore. They capitulate, and you take the prize, not matter what it is, no matter what you had to do to get it. That's your specialty. I used to admire you for how good you were at getting what you wanted."
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Peaches. But I still don't know what you're talking about."
"Listen to me, Douglas. I know that you've been through a terrible experience. I don't want to make things any worse for you. But I am NOT the same person that I was when we were together. I'm not your girl, and I'm not going to be. I had to move on."
"Peaches, I..."
"Douglas, I don't doubt that you still have the ability to cause trouble for people. You're good at it. It's your talent, and that talent made you very successful. But it also just about ruined you. Can't you see that? Can't you see that you can't go back to the way that things were?"
"You didn't seem to mind when I was taking you to parties with the Washington elite."
"No, Douglas. You're right. I didn't mind at all, not at first. I was smitten by you and your connections and how much people respected you. It was exhilarating. But when I figured out what was really going on, when I added up the personal cost of what you were really doing to people - that's not something that I can handle. And I had to get out."
"I understand," he said. "You did what you had to do."
"And I have to keep doing that, Douglas. I can't come back. It just won't work anymore. And no amount of hurting people is going to change that. There is never going to be a day where I'll call you up and say, 'Okay, Douglas, you win. Just stop hurting people, and we'll go back to the way that things were.' If that's what you're hoping for, you have to let it go. It isn't going to happen."
"You could come back if you wanted to," he argued.
"Wanting or not wanting wouldn't make any difference," she explained. "We are who we are. I had to learn that the hard way."
"What if I change?"
"People don't change, Douglas. They're only more or less concentrated versions of their true selves. I know who you are. You can pretend to change, but you won't. Even if your life takes some altruistic turn, the old you will still be there."
"Terri..."
"Look, maybe you can win an election by doing terrible things - and maybe that's okay, because it's just politics. But you can't ever win someone's heart that way. You can't convince someone to love you, no matter how much leverage you apply.
"Maybe you can win them over in some fashion by wearing them down. Maybe they'll just resign themselves to never being rid of you. But what kind of life would that be for either of you? You'll never win their heart, you'll never win their trust, and they'll never really be close to you."
The line was silent for a moment until Douglas asked coldly: "Are you finished?"
"Yes," Terri answered in a soft voice. She felt drained, emotionally and physically. She imagined crawling into a bed and sleeping for the rest of the day - or going out for an evening with Louise, dancing and drinking herself sick.
"Okay, well, you might want to stay away from Mr. Mela," Douglas warned, "because things are about to get very bad for him."
'The Horse Farm'
Copyright © 2015 Daniel R. South
All Rights Reserved
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